Fearless in Bangkok By Karla Vizcarra Philippine Daily Inquirer First Posted 16:30:00 07/21/2008
MANILA, Philippines - In Bangkok, even street dogs are happy. “They eat Buddha’s food,” said Mr. Taher, my favorite Libyan, as we walked along the big and little streets of the city, passing several shrines where birds congregated to partake of the godly fare.
Thais believe in karma—reward or punishment in the future for acts committed in the present. Which is probably why Thai people are really nice not only to each other, but to dogs, too.
For six days, Philippine participants of Thailand’s travel fair were shuttled around Bangkok and Pattaya and encouraged to be proper tourists—to sink our bodies into fresh-smelling, king-sized hotel beds and eat, shop, eat and shop like mad.
Tourist trap
I myself do not subscribe to this sort of tourist-trap philosophy, but with the Tourism Authority of Thailand doing the coaxing, I gave in. Besides, Thailand is one megabowl of products laid out for consumption by everyone. And the food is so delicious that each dish deserves its own shrine.
The Tom Yum soup, thick and creamy with spices and pieces of shrimp, meat and greens, just about reduced me to happy, chili-induced tears. And the fried sea bass—nothing in this world could be crunchier or more perfectly toasted.
In Thailand, even street food looked sacred, like whole ceremonies were involved in making them. Food options in cart A were never the same with food options in cart B, all the way to cart X. And amid these soups, sweets and meats on stick were mounds of enormous fruit.
Their atis is as huge as melons, their melons probably as big as watermelons. (I have no idea just how big their watermelons are.)
Terrifying
As in all Asian countries, some Thai concoctions look dubious, but this is a small matter. To the serious traveler, the iffier, sketchier and more blatantly terrifying something is, the better.
Which is why I went out one night to join the horde of people—students, monks, fashionably-dressed kids, eager-faced foreigners—trooping in and out of Bangkok’s alleys. I lingered from one food cart to another, squinting at ingredients I could not identify, until I came to one where I had a reasonable idea what the food was.
I discovered a stall heaped high with worms and insects. Dead worms and insects, I must add—fried and salted to skittery perfection. I just had to have a bag.
Much like buying peanuts, I pointed to a compartment (each held a different insect/ worm species) and the vendor scooped whole crickets into a plastic bag as I forked over 20 baht. I would have hours of fun with them back in the hotel room.
I almost skipped dinner that night, too, but we were going to an all-you-can-eat sushi bar and I thought the crickets might want some company.
Wild shopping
In this country, all that gorging on sushi, pad thai and fishcakes is necessary. Thailand might be a crackling network of beaches, elephants, Buddhism and nightclubs, but to most tourists, its capital means just one thing: wild and wooly shopping—the ultimate test in cardiovascular endurance.
I took to this mission armed with no more than 3,000 baht (about a hundred dollars), steely determination and a sorry range of Thai phrases (Paeng maag —Very expensive! And Hong nam yoo tee nai —Where’s the restroom?)
We were let loose in markets as big as cities, and if it weren’t for our handlers’ expert supervision, I would have worn my feet into stumps.
I also had to be restrained from purchasing items like a bar of stainless steel soap. Such was the extent and might of Thailand trade articles. I finally blew all my remaining baht on instant Tom Yum and a liter of Thai Yakult in the grocery, and I was pleased.
In Pattaya, we were billeted at Amari Orchid Resort & Tower, a sinfully hip hotel crawling with hunky army men and soothed with piped-in chill-out music. In the mornings, I would pad out of my hotel room in fluffy slippers to the eighth floor and nibble on sausages, croissant and dragon fruit, then have a nice little dip in the pool before waddling out to the beach up front.
I would then spend the rest of the day being encouraged to feast on lobster and more fruit, before being herded off to a cultural show/cabaret, all under a breathtakingly beautiful Southeast Asian sky.
I was never one to buy into the whole decadent tourism shtick, but sweet suffering souls of Siam, I could get used to this. Snake blood, sharks and the discovery of island-dwelling communities will have to be dealt with some other time.
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