10 video games Enrile should play instead of Bejeweled

 
Poor Johnny Enrile.

He had to sit there while Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago lambasted him as a crook, denounced him as a fascist, portrayed him as a pervert and accused him of being liar.

And he could only smile, shake his head and play a video game on a tablet.

Now, there’s a hip, tech-savvy old guy for you.

But Bejeweled? Seriously, Manong Johnny?

Certainly, a super-rich politician and one-time powerful guardian of dictatorial rule in the country can do better than some dorky tile matching game.

So in case Enrile has to sit through another punishing Senate session, here are 10 more entertaining games that are perhaps even more appropriate for someone with his history and reputation.

Angry Birds

The Pigs are all over the place, and it is up to the Angry Birds to bring them down.

Surely, Enrile must have heard of this game. But perhaps he just hasn’t given it a try. Or maybe he’s intimidated by it or just can’t bring himself to bring down those pigs.

Bad Piggies

Well, if the senator feels more for the pigs, there’s also a game for that.

Pigs are the stars in Bad Piggies. The goal: help them find and collect eggs by creating an effective flying machine.

“Those tricky pigs have a few objects they can use, but they need your help turn those into the perfect transportation,” the game site says. In a way, it’s kind of like dealing with the maze of pork-barrel schemes we’ve been hearing much about.

Papers Please

I bet Enrile could relate to this game. After all, it’s about bureaucracy. Even better – it’s about a fascist bureaucracy.

You have to defend the state by checking papers, interrogating suspected enemies, even taking extreme measures.

Sound familiar?

Hungry Hungry Hippos

All right, if Enrile doesn’t enjoy shooting pigs with ill-tempered birds, then maybe he’ll enjoy hippos chomping up mangoes and bananas.

Command and Conquer

Or how about Command and Conquer. This is, as the title suggests, about commanding and conquering, which should bring back for the senator those fun, carefree days of commanding and conquering of the Martial Law era.

Greedy Bankers vs. the World

This is kind of like Bejeweled but with a greedy twist. Your goal is, as the game says, “to be ruthless” in acquiring as much wealth as you can.

Beat Sneak Bandit

Here’s the deal. All the clocks in the world have been stolen, and Beat Sneak Bandit has to steal them back.

Again, all about stealing.

Joyful Executions

This should be another 70s throwback for the senator.

This is parody of North Korea, which should bring back memories of Marcos-era Philippines. It’s all about surviving in and running a totalitarian state, and even find ‘joy’ in getting rid of all its enemies.

Where’s My Water?

You have an alligator, named Swampy. He lives in a city’s sewer system. Now Swampy hates being dirty, but there’s a problem: Whenever he tries to take a bath, a rival alligator. Cranky, blocks the flow of water. So you have find ways to let the water flow to make Swampy happy.

Alligators, sewers, greed. ‘Nuff said.

Plants vs Zombies

This is my personal favorite and I’m sure Enrile will enjoy this too. It’s a classic tower defense game:

The goal: help the plants defend their home from the marauding zombies. If you fail, the zombies eat your brain.

But the senator must remember this: Unlike in some paramilitary settings he may have been familiar with, the zombies are the bad guys.

The goal is to stop them, kill them — not coddle them!

Special thanks to Dino Ignacio, veteran Silicon Valley game designer, fellow Martial Law Baby, who is also known for his provocative “Bert is Evil” website.

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