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In South Korea, some people go on dates arranged by friends. Others swipe through apps to find the one they want. And then there are those who hand over their resumes — quite literally — to a matchmaking consultant.

Curious about how the process works at the highest end of the market, The Korea Herald visited a marriage agency founded in 2001 in Cheongdam, an upscale neighborhood in Seoul’s Gangnam district, known for pairing clients based on professional pedigree and inherited affluence.

The Korea Herald was greeted by Choi, a marriage consultant in her 50s.

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The agency’s philosophy, she explained, was straightforward: Compatibility begins with alignment in lifestyle and life stage

“Have you heard of the term ‘birds of a feather flock together’? Here, we help you meet the love of your life who is on the same wavelength as you — in background, goals and outlook on life,” she said, handing over a pamphlet highlighting the agency’s track record.

It listed elite couples who had tied the knot through its services, including the children and grandchildren of former ministers, conglomerate-owning families, corporate executives, senior government officials, diplomats and doctors.

Then came the questions — a lot of them.

How many properties the parents owned, whether the applicant had one under their own name, which universities parents and siblings graduated from, the nature of the father’s business, how much the parents paid in regional health insurance premiums — a common measure of income in South Korea — and their expected pension income. She even requested registry documents to verify the properties’ market value and check for existing mortgage encumbrances.

To be frank, the process felt less like getting to know someone and more like undergoing a financial audit.

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After assessing the reporter’s background, she said they fell into the agency’s “trinity” tier, based on family assets and other factors. She recommended a one-year membership costing about 28.5 million won, with an additional success fee of the same amount if a marriage resulted.

She then showed profiles of potential matches: A 34-year-old University of Michigan–educated fund manager earning about 200 million won a year, from a family whose businesses were valued at up to 50 billion won, and a 30-year-old US-educated man from a family business worth about 150 billion won, living in Seoul’s upscale Yeonhui-dong.

Inside the matchmaking world

Matchmaking agencies were once whispered about rather than being openly discussed. Long associated with people who had struggled for years to find a partner on their own, they carried a lingering social stigma.

Today, marriage consulting services are no longer seen as a last resort for bachelors and bachelorettes who have struggled to find a partner. They are now viewed as an efficient way to find the right partner with less uncertainty, reflecting a shift in how Koreans meet, date and marry.

The industry operates in two largely separate spheres: The so-called “general” agencies serving the broader public, and “noble” firms that cater to high-income and elite clientele. The agency that The Korea Herald visited is among the “noble” agencies.

General agencies, like Duo or Gayeon, have a low barrier to entry. Anyone legally single with at least a high school diploma is welcome, regardless of job or family background.

For example, 43.8 percent of Duo’s male members work in large corporations or finance. Among female members, 37.1 percent have similar roles, according to a company official. Public-sector employees and educators also account for a significant share. Duo currently has about 37,272 registered members.

These agencies typically operate on a count-based system that offers five to 10 matching opportunities for 2 million to 4 million won.

“Rather than leaving relationships to chance, many singles are turning to structured matchmaking as their careers stabilize and marriage becomes a more concrete plan, as the profiles they receive are verified and tailored to their preferences,” the Duo official explained.

At the other end of the spectrum are elite agencies catering to the more privileged. Clients can choose membership terms of six months, one year or two years, during which consultants arrange carefully tailored introductions, with no set limit on the number of matches. The agencies charge a hefty success fee, paid only if a couple ultimately marries.

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Lee So-yeon (pseudonym), a 31-year-old corporate worker, joined one of the elite matchmaking agencies three months ago, paying around 30 million won for a six-month program. If she marries through the service, she will have to pay an additional success fee of the same amount.

Lee comes from a well-off family. Her parents are both self-employed doctors. She was raised and lives in Seoul’s affluent Gangnam district and graduated from a university in the US.

According to Lee, the most important qualities she seeks in a partner include his family background — specifically, financial stability and family standing — as well as his character and whether they share similar values and political views.

“I want to meet someone who shares a similar background, so I decided to find one through a matchmaking agency.”

What makes an ideal spouse?

Many in the marriage market aren’t looking for fluff or lofty ideals. Instead, they are quite direct about their demands.

In a survey by Duo of 2,000 singles aged 25 to 44 conducted between Nov. 4-12, 73 percent of men and 80 percent of women rated character as the most important factor. Beyond personality, men are more likely to value physical appearance. Women tend to focus more on men’s careers and financial stability.

Men associate physical appearance with long-term family considerations. Many prefer women over 160 centimeters tall and those without cosmetic surgery. Women often prioritize a man’s financial stability to ensure long-term security and a stable foundation for raising a family, the official noted.

Choi, the marriage consultant who met with The Korea Herald, also noted that physical traits, such as age and appearance, tend to weigh more heavily for women in the marriage market.

“To be frank, once a woman is over 33, it becomes significantly more difficult for us to find suitable matches,” Choi said. “Physical appearance plays a major role because if a woman does not meet appearance standards favored by male members, matching can be challenging, regardless of her financial background.”

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Whether a potential partner’s parents are financially prepared for retirement has also become an important factor, according to Choi. However, at matchmaking agencies, clients can review details such as family assets and debts beforehand, allowing them to start a relationship with a clearer picture of circumstances that might otherwise remain unknown.

Choi claimed that matchmaking services are essentially about reducing risk when choosing a life partner.

“It’s about beginning a relationship with full knowledge of each other’s circumstances.”

Sociologists say the matchmaking industry offers a snapshot of how Koreans increasingly view marriage through the lens of risk and stability.

“The more unstable and competitive a society becomes, the more people seek safety and predictability — even in marriage,” Huh Chang-deog, a sociology professor at Yeungnam University, told The Korea Herald.

Huh added that the COVID-19 pandemic reinforced the tendency, as lockdowns and distancing measures reduced opportunities for in-person encounters.

“With fewer chances to meet organically, many turned to structured matchmaking services as a practical alternative, viewing them as safer and more reliable than dating apps. Clients feel reassured knowing that educational background, occupation and family information have been screened.”

“It reflects a desire to reduce uncertainty. When a safer option presents itself, people are inclined to take it. That is why, in today’s society, marriage is increasingly viewed as a rational choice focused on securing stability and comfort. It’s a calculated step toward building a stable future,” the professor said. /dl