A writer’s story: Duterte was my president, until killings began

Former President Rodrigo Duterte. —File photo by Jam Sta. Rosa | Agence France-Presse

I once supported Rodrigo Duterte. He was the messiah from the South, the one who would save us from the scourge of the political dynasties from Luzon – namely the Aquinos (and their ilk), the Roxas (from the Visayas), and many others that were too many to mention. But most of us who supported Duterte lumped everyone from Luzon.

In 2016, I campaigned for Duterte using social media. I even likened him to Vlad Tepes or Vlad the Impaler, citing quotes about punishment and fear as a means to restore social order. I once posted this on Facebook: “Sometimes the world doesn’t need another hero. Sometimes what it needs is a monster.” After he took the presidency, Duterte had shown his true nature – a monster.

Yet, it took me over a year to process this. Anyway, Duterte appointed Dr. Judy Taguiwalo, a former UP professor, a staunch human rights defender, and a good friend, as the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) Secretary, and Mr. Rafael Mariano as Department of Agrarian Reform (DAR) Secretary. It seemed like the beginning of real change in the government. We were in for a better Philippines – or so I thought. Both served from July 2016 to September 2017 but were ultimately not confirmed by the Commission on Appointments (CA).

I am a stringer for INQUIRER.net. On September 5, 2016, Duterte visited Vientiane, Laos where he was warmly welcomed by the small Filipino community. I wrote a story about his state visit and his strong stance against US interference, which was published in the now-defunct Asian Correspondent.

His anti-American sentiment was particularly significant in Laos, a country heavily bombed during the Cold War. To this day, vast areas of the country remain riddled with unexploded ordnance (UXO).

I also covered his state visit to Thailand on March 22, 2017. I secured a press ID and interviewed the excited Filipinos who were attending the visit. His speech was interspersed with his signature cuss words.

As the minutes passed, I found myself counting how many times he spewed profanities – to the cheers of the Filipino community.

In both visits, Duterte assured the Filipino migrant workers that they would one day return to a better and safer Philippines – in other words, a nation rid of scums of the Earth, also known as drug addicts.

Most ASEAN countries have historically projected strong or macho image leaders, taking pride of the fear instilled by leadership rather than by inherent discipline among the population.

That is why Rodrigo Duterte is regarded as a strong man rather than a “puppet” of the United States.

As an overseas Filipino based in the Mekong Region, I closely followed the news. Duterte was a firebrand leader, spewing fiery orders to “his” police officers to “shoot and kill” criminals and drug addicts.

He even likened himself to Hitler, who killed three million Jews. So he would kill three million addicts, too.

“Double Barrel Reloaded,” also known as Tokhang, became a byword in the Philippines.

Buy-bust operations and mass surrenders of alleged drug users for documentation were carried out across the country. Yet, the killings continued. Duterte believed that eliminating addicts and pushers would reduce criminality and the ailments of the Philippine society.

Duterte’s sexist remarks and blasphemous comments were normalized and brushed aside as jokes.

During the COVID-19 pandemic and the disasters in 2020, he failed to take leadership seriously. Instead of relying on health experts to monitor the crisis, he deployed the military and police.

In my interview with Fr. Flavie Villanueva for Asia Times in 2019, he said: “Mr. Duterte is not an ordinary citizen, he has the highest seat in the executive branch. When you say executive, what he says becomes a policy. There is no room here for freedom of expression — because every expression that you create is regarded by people as something as executive.”

Fr. Villanueva is a Society of the Divine Word coordinator and the founder of Justice-Peace Integrity of Creation and also the executive director of AJ Kalinga Inc, an organization assisting the survivors and families of Duterte’s war on drugs.

The killings began in 2017 or earlier, but it was Kian delos Santos — a student who pleaded with the police officers not to kill him because he had a test the next day — who became an eye-opener not only for me but probably also for a lot of former DDS (Diehard Duterte Supporters).

Then came Carl, Kulot, and many more. They were dismissed as “collateral damage” in the war on drugs. Senator Bato dela Rosa even callously remarked, “shit happens.”

Still, I held on to hope that things would be better for the Philippines.

Anyway, Duterte had promised us a better country, free from drug addicts – yet he never spoke of going after the drug lords. Instead, his administration incarcerated Sen. Leila de Lima for a trumped-up drug case.

Over the years, I interviewed both Duterte supporters and the families of Tokhang victims. I spoke with Luz Siapo, whose son, 19-year old Raymart Siapo, a person with disability, was killed.

I also interviewed DDS supporters. For most OFWs, Duterte was praised for “making the streets safe at night.”

During Duterte’s presidency, cursing was normalized, and killing was applauded. Every slain individual was labeled either a drug addict or a rapist that must be eliminated – regardless of whether they were priests, the elderly, environmental defenders, teens, or toddlers.

Defenders of Duterte even accused the Commission on Human Rights of siding with criminals instead of the victims. They blamed the country’s drug problem and petty crimes on CHR rather than on the government’s failure to address the systemic issues.

But what if one of their own was killed? It was fate. It was a collateral damage.

A DDS OFW once asked for my help when her nephew was detained and later died in police custody in 2018 in Caloocan City.

I sought the assistance of the Nightcrawlers, the photojournalists covering Tokhang operations. Yet, despite what had happened, the aunt remains a staunch DDS up to this day.

Writing about Duterte, especially as someone based outside the Philippines, exposed me to harassment.

I was called names, threatened with lawsuits, and subjected to intimidation. The mental toll was often unbearable.

In 2022, I was invited by the Asia Centre in Bangkok to share my experiences. I thought I had already moved on, but I broke down in the middle of my talk.

I stopped writing about politics. I lost friends and was alienated from relatives who are still supporting Duterte. They still believe in fake news. For them, I am the “fake” one.

On March 11, Duterte was finally arrested by Interpol in the Philippines. He is now in The Hague, under the custody of the International Criminal Court (ICC) , facing charges of crimes against humanity. His crimes are unfathomable. He admitted to ordering the killings – for what he claimed was “love of country.”

I am not washing my hands. Duterte was once my president. I am calling for accountability and, ultimately, justice.