In order to move forward, we must give back: How one man’s past helped secure the future of others

In order to move forward, we must give back: How one man’s past helped secure the future of others

One man believes that his painful past should never define him but rather by how he rose above it and learned from it.
/ 07:24 PM October 01, 2024

We might have made some wrong decisions in the past or committed mistakes along the way. But we are also mindful that these experiences—especially the most difficult ones—have molded us into the person we have become today. GrabCar driver-partner Julius Calingasan Mendoza is a living testimony of this.  He believes, however, that his painful past should never define him but rather by how he rose above it and learned from it. He has hurdled, healed, moved forward, and to date, has become a better, stronger, and wiser version of himself, while helping others in the process.   

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Laman na ako ng Pasig Public Market, simula 7 years old. Doon ako naglalaro, doon na rin ako lumaki, dahil may pwesto doon ang lola at mga magulang ko. Nagtitinda sila ng gulay, saging, itlog.  Noong 13 years old na ako, natuto na akong magtinda ng asukal, mantika, BBQ stick kaya tinutulungan ko na yung nanay koHanggang sa naglalako na ako rin ako ng uling at sigarilyo sa palengke (I have always been a mainstay of the Pasig Public Market since I was 7 years old. I played and I practically grew up there.  My family had a stall where they sold vegetables, bananas, eggs.  When I turned 13, I already knew how to sell sugar, oil, and BBQ stick so I was already helping out. Until I went around the market selling charcoal and cigarettes,”) Mendoza recalled. 

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A light from the depths of darkness

His parents sent him to college, where he earned a degree in Information Technology, because they wanted a better future for him.  Instead, Mendoza’s life went astray–he spent his money and almost wasted his life on vices for years.  His world then was pitch dark and ugly, he recalled, that even dreaming of becoming a lawyer, much less of a better life, was futile. In 2016, a friend from Singles for Christ group convinced him to be a GrabCar driver-partner, and that happened to be the wake-up call he was waiting for.  Thus, in January 2017, Mendoza decided to ditch his wayward ways, come out clean, and become a GrabCar driver-partner.  He never turned his back since.  

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 “Una kong nilabas yung sasakyan ng lola ko. Naaliw ako, nagustuhan ko ang ginagawa ko. Dahil maganda ang income at incentives, for the first time, natuto akong mag-ipon dahil sa Grab! Na-afford kong magpakasal na ang wedding reception ay sa Valle Verde noong 2018, na-afford ko rin dalhin sa malaking ospital ang misis ko para manganak nang caesarian paAng laking tulong ng Grab sa buhay ko talaga (I initially enrolled my grandmother’s car in Grab and loved what I was doing.  And because I had more than sufficient income and incentives, I was able to afford a Valle Verde wedding reception in 2018, and I was also able to afford to bring my wife to a topnotch hospital where she gave birth via caesarian section.  Grab has really been a huge help in my life),” the 39-year-old father and GrabCar driver-partner beamed. 

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When the pandemic happened and his grandmother’s car broke down, Mendoza went back to Pasig Public Market, not to rekindle his hideous past but to launch his ihaw-ihaw (BBQ) business.  But the desire to be a GrabCar driver-partner never left his mind, so a friend who had several GrabCar units allowed him to drive again in 2023.  With Grab, Mendoza has learned to treat his passengers with respect and ensure their safety at all times. He commences his work at 1:00 in the afternoon and ends his day at dawn, making sure he has completed 12 hours of driving.  “Importante din na may sapat na pahinga.  Nakakatuwa nga si Grab eh, mag-a-alert yan kung sobra ka na sa oras o halos 24 hours na ang byahe moRamdam mo talaga yung concern nila sa amin. Nagre-remind ung apps namin na hindi pwedeng tuluy-tuloy ang biyahe (We all should have adequate rest.  Grab alerts us if we are on the road for a long time, or if we are nearly 24 hours on the job. I can feel the Grab’s concern for us.  The apps remind us that we cannot just drive nonstop),” Mendoza smiled.  So, he usually takes a breather every Wednesday for quality time with his family, while Sundays are spent to serve the Church, where he and his wife Lovely are active members of Couples for Christ. 

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Mendoza claims he is able to bring home a sizable daily income for his family and because of Grab, they have finally renovated the house that they are currently renting in North Caloocan.  “Nakapagpa-bubong ako ng bahay, nakabili ako ng cellphone, may pang-gasolina ako, nakabili kami ng gamit sa bahay, at nakapag-enrol sa Catholic school ang mga anak ko (I was able to have our roof fixed, buy a mobile phone, I have gasoline money, we got ourselves some home fixtures, and my children has successfully enrolled in a Catholic school),” he smiled. Mendoza is more than determined to stay with Grab and to prove this, he has recently purchased his own car, has enrolled it with Grab, awaiting approval.  He dreams of buying more units and eventually becoming a GrabCar operator so he could help provide jobs to those who need it. 

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Empathy in action

While Mendoza now lives far away from the place where he grew up in, he regularly returns to Pasig to help young children in the public market through his friend’s non-profit organization called “Sagip Batampalengke”.  Embracing the lessons of his painful past, “Daddy Oma” (as the children fondly calls him) spreads kindness and inspiration, ensuring that they grow up as responsible young adults capable of making the right decisions in life, while safeguarding their souls from the lure of substance abuse and other vices.

“Nakaawa ang mga bata noong una kong makita, natutulog sa palengke, nakahubad. May mga magulang sila pero mas pinili nilang maglayas. May mga kaso pa ng teenage pregnancy. Nakakalungkot. Ang goal namin talaga ay maialis sila doon at ibalik sa mga pamilya nila. May mga older batch na kaming natulungang magbago, maayos na sila ngayon sa pamilya nila (The plight of the children was dismal the first time I saw them. They sleep in the market, barenaked. They have parents but they choose to run away from home.  There are several cases of teenage pregnancy.  It’s distressing.  Our main goal is to get them off that place and turn them over to their families. We already helped an older batch change and now they’re with their families),” he revealed. 

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Remembering the darkest episode of his adolescent life, Daddy Oma is committed to helping these children get back on their feet so they would never experience what he has gone through. They conduct weekly gatherings in the market where they bathe and feed the children and give them hygiene kits.  The group also does volunteer weekly reading to enlighten these young ones about their obligations to God, the community, and to their families.  But all these are not mere stop-gap measures as Mendoza and the group go above and beyond what the children need.  “Tinuturuan din namin ang mga magulang kasi hindi natin alam kung ano ang dahilan bakit itong mga bata ay lumalayas sa bahay.  Gina-guide din namin ang pamilya nila, pati ang pagkuha ng birth certificate nila para makapasok sa school, inaasikaso namin.  Dapat kasi involved ang pamilya para mabilis at kumpleto ang pagbabago (We also educate their parents because we don’t know the reason why these kids run away from home. We guide their families, and even help acquire their birth certificates so they could go back to school.  The family should be involved in the process, so the change is quick and complete),” Mendoza explained. 

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He also relentlessly looks for sponsors and fortunately, there are people who donate rice, soaps, toothbrush, slippers, and funds.  The Sagip Batampalengke has also earned the support even of the Pasig LGU.  Seeing the organization’s growth, Mendoza has enjoined his fellow GrabCar drivers—under “Grubee Friends”, a 60-member group which he has organized—who have since become his helping hand all his outreach programs, every summer and during the Holiday season. “Itong grupo namin ay may budget naman talaga pang-outreach, pero nagbibigay rin kami ng solicitation letters sa mga kaibigan namin at mga kumpanya tulad ng Grab, pandagdag lang para mas marami kaming mabigyan ng tulong. Ito ang nakakatuwa, nagbibigay talaga ng donation si Grab sa amin, bilang suporta sa aming magandang gawain (Our group has actually a budget for our outreach, but we still give out solicitation letters to friends and companies, as additional funds so we could help more children. What makes us happy is the fact that Grab really gives us monetary donations, as support for our good cause),” Mendoza exclaimed.   Apart from the children they regularly help in Pasig Public Market, the Grubee Friends have also shared their blessings to the beneficiaries of Cottolengo Filipino, a religious organization based in Rodriguez, Rizal that provides residential care for people who are abandoned, neglected, and surrendered, as well as unwanted PWDs.

Mendoza has never been this proud of himself–having a stable source of income, a decent livelihood, a contented family, and the ability to help out.  So far, he has successfully balanced time between his work, family, and the charity work that he does.  He usually brings his family to some outreach programs so his two young children would realize how blessed they are. 

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The road to a more compassionate future

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Hindi ko po ma-explain pero sobrang saya ko kapag nakakatulong.  Sabi ko nga, kung blessed ka, huwag mong sarilinin, dapat sini-share yan sa mga nangangailangan, kahit maliit, kahit kapiraso (I couldn’t explain it, but it makes me extremely happy to help others.  As I always say, when you are blessed, don’t keep it to yourself.  You have to share it to those who need it, no matter how small or simple),” he advised. 

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Indeed, we make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. “Ang swerte ko at nabago ni Grab ang buhay ko.  Nakakatanggap ako nang sobra, kaya ako nakakapagbigay (I am so fortunate that Grab has helped change my life. I was given so much, that’s why I am giving back),” he smiled. Given his kind of past, Mendoza does not know what the future brings, but one thing is sure today: he will continue to be the change that his younger self desired to be, and will continue to transform young children’s lives, one compassionate gesture at a time.

INQUIRER.net BrandRoom/JC 

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