The Rant Race: Duterte vs. Trump

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SAN FRANCISCO — Both Duterte and Trump have the uncanny ability to comment on things that nobody else would and threaten to cause a paradigm shift. It’s as though their trash talk lends them the ability to take out the garbage and really clean up society.

But who’s the clone and who gets the throne for outrageous quips?

Judge for yourself and see when their thoughts converge in some memorable quotes below collected from each of their Mao-like treatments: The Duterte Manifesto (ABS-CBN Publishing, Copyright 2016) and Quotations from Chairman Trump (RosettaBooks, Copyright 2016).

But take care. If you choose one over the other, one may call you an “ugly, disgusting liar.” The other may say, “You son of a whore, I’ll kill you!”

Donald Trump said . . . Rodrigo Duterte said. . .
“I do a book called The Art of the Deal. It’s probably the number one best-selling business book of all time. I go to the Wharton School of Finance. I was a good student in the hardest school there was to get into . . . And then they say, ‘Oh, he’s not qualified (to be in a presidential debate)’ and then they take some dope who becomes a senator, who doesn’t have – who’s nothing and he’s qualified to be on stage but Trump isn’t qualified? Give me a break.” Wala ho akong Wharton School of Economics. Ang kaya ko lang ho ay Watson (a pharmacy/convenience store much like CVS or Walgreens), ‘dun ho ako namimili ng sabon, pang-kilikili, para sa ears ko. Hindi ako summa cum laude, hindi rin ako cum laude. Nung kindergarten ako hanggang College of Law, 75 lang ako. Wala akong maipagmamalaki sa inyo. Hindi ko kaya e. T’saka tama na ‘yung 75. Anak ng . . . 75 ka, next year 75, second grade, 75 third year, 4th year. Hanggang sabi ng nanay ko, pati tatay ko, ‘Rodrigo, may pag-asa ba ‘to na tumaas?’ Sabi ko, ‘Ma, ikaw malaki ang ambisyon mo para sa akin. Ako ‘Ma, small time lang ang pangarap ko sa buhay ko. Pumasa lang ako taon-taon, tama na ‘yan, ‘Ma.’”
“I think if I do something wrong, I think, I just try to make it right. I don’t bring God into the picture. I don’t.” “Do not control my mouth! This is not my mouth! God given gift ‘to!”
“I’m not a politician, thank goodness.” “The problem with us in government is that we talk too much, we act too slow and we do too little.”
(About Ivanka Trump:) “Yeah, she’s really something and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married and, you know, her father . . .” “I do not pull a woman to my face and kiss them. It’s the women who come to me with pouted lips.”
“We are a whipping post. We are a laughing stock as a country. We’re not respected anymore. And that’s why I decided to run for president.” “A leader must be a terror to evil people. A flag symbolizes a nation. If someone were to burn a Philippine flag in front of me, I would kill him. Totoo ‘yan.”
“People are tired of nice.” “I am not your perfect option. But I am your last card. I promise you, I will get down and dirty just to get things done. I will get things done! I will do it for the Filipino people.”
“I’m a solid, stable person. I am a man of great achievement. I win . . . I always win. Knock on wood. I win. It’s what I do. I beat people. I win.” “I do not pretend to be the man of the hour. I am not. I would just say, I am a man who tried to do it. And succeeded. Or, a man who tried it and failed. History will judge me.”

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