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CALIFORNIA, United States?Paula looked great in tight designer jeans topped with a soft blue cashmere turtle neck sweater. Except for flesh colored lipstick, which complemented her fair smooth skin, she had no other makeup.
No need. She had a naturally pretty mestiza face framed by long soft brownish hair. Nice body too?a slim, 5?6? frame, long legs. She was 26 but looked 19.
?Attorney, I?m absolutely crazy about this guy. He wants to marry me, but I can?t marry him.?
I sensed desperation in her voice. Was she married and needed a divorce?
?No, attorney. I don?t need a divorce.?
?What then??
?My boyfriend doesn?t know that I am not a woman.?
?You surely look like one beautiful woman.? I remarked. She did. She could easily pass for a model.
?Attorney, I really need your help?I met this fabulous-looking Irish-Italian guy four months ago in a writing seminar. We started dating after. He?s really nice. A month later, he asked me to move in with him. I did.?
?You are living with a guy and he still does not know that you?re not a woman??
?Well, James and I haven?t had actual sex but he enjoys some of the things I do to him. Alam mo na. You know. He?s also a Catholic and we go to church together. I told him that being a Catholic, I can?t have sex until I?m married. He understands. But last week, after he introduced me to his parents, he proposed marriage.?
?Paula,? I warned, ?you are playing a very dangerous game. I know of a case like yours where this man shot his fiancée repeatedly after discovering she was a he. In the heat of sexual passion, he lost control and tore off his fiancee?s clothes, saw what he saw and went bananas. He got off lightly. The jury found involuntary manslaughter due to temporary insanity.?
?Oh my God!? shrieked Paula. ?That?s scary. But I would rather die than lose him. We are madly in love.?
?That may be but eventually, he?ll discover your secret.?
?I know and I?m afraid. I also have another serious problem.?
?What?s that??
?I?m here illegally. I overstayed on my student visa after my master?s degree. Attorney, please help me. I?m desperately suicidal.? She was.
?Paula, have you ever heard of transgender or sex change operation??
?Yes, but is that safe??
?It?s best to consult with a qualified doctor. Perhaps this alternative can help.?
?OK, but how about my immigration problem??
?After your consultation with the transgender doctor, we?ll see. Right now immigration is second priority.?
I was very concerned that if James discovered her secret, it would break her heart. She might commit suicide. He also might react violently.
Some years back a client told me he was once a woman. He was elated with the results of his sex change operation. I told Paula to look up this alternative as she was desperate.
Two weeks later, Paula called: ?Attorney, I?ve decided to do the sex change. The doctor explained the risks and allowed me to talk to some patients. They said that except for having a baby, I will be like any woman. I need to do this for James and myself.?
Paula comes from a financially capable family in the Philippines. Her parents were supportive and sent her $30,000 for the operation.
I asked: ?The hospitalization takes a few days. The healing takes a few weeks. How will you schedule that without James knowing??
?He?ll be on a business trip to several countries for 3 1/2 weeks. I?ll have the operation right after he leaves. When he returns, I am almost healed. That should work.?
?Good luck. I hope everything works out well. For all practical purposes you?re a woman except for one small thing.?
Five months later, I saw a beaming Paula who looked absolutely stunning.
?Attorney, the doctor was right. Except for having a baby, I can do everything that a woman can do, including doing it. The hormone treatments also increased my breast size. My husband and I are very happy.?
?So you and James went ahead and got married??
?Yes we did.?
Postscript: The immigrant visa petition by James for Paula and her application for adjustment of status had to be carefully and sensitively handled. Understandably, Paula wanted her secret hidden from James.
I privately informed the USCIS examiner of the delicate situation, respectfully requesting that Paula?s birth gender not be mentioned during their interview. The kind understanding examiner agreed. The legality of the marriage was not an issue because it was truly a marriage between a man and a woman. Her immigrant visa was approved.
Paula and James are fictitious names. I also asked Paula?s permission to tell her story. She gladly agreed knowing it might help others like her. She said I changed her life. I responded, ?No, the doctor did.?
