The Pleasure Principle By Eric S. Caruncho Philippine Daily Inquirer First Posted 14:30:00 07/23/2008
“Nine out of 10 women—or I dare say 19 out of 20—who come here confide that they have to fake their orgasms,” says Eleanor Leung. “It’s unfortunate, but it’s the truth.”
“Here” is The Pleasure Place, the shop Leung has been running with her business and life partner (also a woman, it should be mentioned) for the last four years. Tucked into a quiet corner of the Metrowalk mini-mall in Pasig City, The Pleasure Place has been slowly building a reputation as the place to go if you want to add a little spice to your sex life.
If those 19 out of 20 non-orgasmic women don’t find something here to help them with their problem, they’re really out of luck, because The Pleasure Place carries the widest selection of sex toys in the city: everything from the Silver Bullet to the Hitachi Magic Wand, which Leung describes as “the Rolls-Royce of vibrators.”
There are also erection aids for men (“Sta-Hard Gel”); sexy lingerie, edible underwear, fetish wear and bondage gear; all types of lubricants, salves and hot waxes; Swedish dildos that look like Brancusi sculptures, inflatable love dolls, and so on.
And it’s all high-end stuff; none of those cheap Chinese dildos and tacky French ticklers that one finds in sleazier sections of Avenida Rizal in Sta. Cruz. Leung, who travels widely to do the purchasing for the shop, makes sure she’s up to date on the state of the art of erotic aids, and only carries the best.
But her store is much more than just a sex shop, Leung insists.
“I see this place more as a sanctuary, a haven where customers can come to meet people who have the same problems or share the same joys, and exchange notes,” she says. “I poured my heart into this, so it’s more than just a business to me. I want to be able to feel that I’ve had an impact on people’s lives, especially the younger generation.”
By necessity as well as inclination, Leung has found herself becoming something of an authority on the subject of sex.
“It’s funny that my business has evolved to the point that a lot of people come to me for counseling, and I have to tell everyone that I’m not a sex therapist, nor do I claim to have an educational background in sex therapy,” she confesses. “I’m basically here to relieve people’s fears, ignorance and prejudices.”
She adds: “What I do know is through vast reading of books by certified authors such as Dr. Dotson, known as ’the mother of masturbation,’ whose books have made a profound impact on me and a lot of women throughout the world.”
Leung extends her missionary work beyond the four walls of her shop through her blog (www.eleanorleung.i.ph), and through a monthly column in “Fudge” magazine. She and her partner are also in the midst of constructing a website for The Pleasure Place with a team of award-winning web designers.
“A lot of women started patronizing my shop when I opened, but now men come in equal numbers,” she says. She hastens to add that minors aren’t allowed into the shop, unless accompanied by their parents.
“I’d like to believe that it’s because of sheer perseverance in talking with almost everyone I come in contact with. When they come in, I try to put them at their ease. Lecture plays a very important key in selling and pushing the toys because they’re very complicated. They’re not as simple as they look, and women do have different needs.”
She adds: “That’s why I’m here—to continue to lecture to men to learn how to heat up a woman’s body. It’s like a machine, it needs to warm up. And romance is very important because you have to touch a woman’s emotional and intellectual levels. It’s not just physical, unlike with men who can get turned on just by looking at a woman passing by.”
Not to knock masturbation—as Woody Allen once said, “it’s sex with someone I love”—but it’s only the tip of the dildo as far as sex toys are concerned. The devices also have myriad uses as aids to foreplay, oral, anal and genital sex. In fact, you’re only limited by your imagination, and your inhibitions.
A tour of the shop.
“This is what I call the elementary or intermediate section,” she says, pointing to a display of some of the smaller devices, including “The Pocket Rocket,” the “Mini Rabbit” (“I teach women to use them on their male partners so they don’t feel threatened and experience extreme pleasure also.”) and the “iBuzz,” which you hook up to your iPod and vibrates to the music. She shows us the egg-shaped “Silver Bullet,” which is more versatile than it looks.
The next section carries an assortment of creams, salves and lubricants, some of which are self-explanatory (“Sta-Hard Gel,” “Good Head” flavored oral sex lube), and some which need a little more elaboration.
“This is edible massage wax,” she explains of one item that looks like a candle. “You light it and let it melt then you pour it on your lover’s body and lick it off. It brings you to the process of foreplay. Or you can interchange it immediately with ice cubes—there’s a lot to learn about these things.”
“When men come here, they basically have only two questions: how do I keep my hard-on, and how do I pleasure a woman?” she says. “Contrary to what women think, men do care about their women. They come in here thinking ’what can I use to give women more pleasure?’”
Based on her interactions with her clients, and the items that they buy, Leung believes that Filipinos are a lot more open and sexually adventurous than people might think. Her clientele, she says, is basically 99 percent Filipino, with only a few foreigners coming in to browse.
“This is a very active market, with ménage a trios and sex orgies happening,” she says. “I’ve written scripts for people who want to get into sex play but don’t know how to participate.”
“Here’s something that’s not talked about—anal lubes,” she says, pointing to some items on the shelf. “My anal toys are the fastest-moving toys in the house. That’s why I decided to put in my blog ‘anal do’s and anal don’ts’. And they’re not exclusively bought by homosexuals—it’s a practice enjoyed by heterosexual couples too. However, few men care to admit it, afraid that people will think they’re abnormal or gay. But I caution women not to allow themselves to be explored in that area until they’re fully equipped and fully educated and ready, because a lot of them get traumatized. There are two sphincters that are very tight, and if you’re not ready to let go, it can hurt.”
Filipinos are also getting into sex games, including bondage and domination.
“Bondage here doesn’t draw blood,” she says, although she does carry items such as cuffs and masks, vibrating nipple clamps, and a beautiful leather and microfiber whip made by Spartacus.
“I’m happy to note that a lot of men come here to buy items for their women,” she says, mentioning fast-moving items such as lingerie, fetish wear, crotch-less panties and nip-less bras.
“When you buy something here, it’s also a gift to yourself, because sexual pleasure is our birthright,” she adds. “My number one lecture to women is: how do you pleasure your partner or teach your partner to pleasure you if you don’t even know how to pleasure yourself? That’s basic.”
In a way, Leung’s own journey to where she is now parallels the Filipino’s journey of sexual awakening.
“I was brought up in a very conservative Chinese family,” recalls Leung, who is now 53 although she looks much younger.
“It was a very strict upbringing, and I was chaperoned. That’s why to me sex is very sacred. That’s what I keep telling people: you can be active, you can choose who you’re going to be with, but you have to remember that your bodies are reserved for a privileged few.”
In spite of their conservatism, her family didn’t really have a problem with her sexual inclination, she says. “I’ve always been out, and my parents always knew,” she says. “A lot of people ask me if I’m married, and I simply tell them that I have a partner. I don’t mince words or try to hide who I am.”
Leung left for the United States where she would live for the better part of two decades, running a fashion business in the Washington D.C. area. Five years ago, she decided to return to the Philippines to care for her aging parents and to open The Pleasure Place with her partner, an amateur photographer who prefers to remain behind the scenes.
“We have another very exciting business called the Garter Belt Gallery,” says Leung. “We specialize in boudoir photography—taking provocative shots of women where we give them a day of feeling powerful and liberated. She sets the stage and I take care of make-up, and we take her pictures and bind them in an album that she can give to her lover or husband.”
Right now, The Pleasure Place is so successful that Leung and her partner have opened a smaller branch in Boracay, although there the fastest-moving items tend to be beach wear. They also plan to open a third store in Quezon City later this year to meet the growing demand.
“At this point in my life, I don’t consider this work, although retirement is not in my vocabulary,” says Leung.
Copyright 2008 Philippine Daily Inquirer. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
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