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“Enough is enough.” Twice in one day, I heard this exasperated declaration from two people – different settings, but both referring to personal and widespread abuse of humans.
After a relaxed post-breakfast conversation, our spunky 93-year-old mother uttered the words when told about a gross psychological abuse heaped on a person very dear to us.
At around 6 p.m. of the same day, Pampanga Governor Eddie Panlilio said exactly the same words – referring to the ill-treatment of the Filipino people by those in “power” and sadly, our tolerance of the abuse. A “wholesale apathy to corruption is frightening,” he told the audience.
Those who attended the Understanding Choices Forum hosted by the Ramon Aboitiz Foundation Inc. now count themselves as a privileged bunch. A mesmerizing and hopeful encounter it was. We heard up close the success stories, inspiring words and insights from a rare breed of local chief executives – Governor Panlilio, Mayor Jesse Robredo of Naga City in Camarines Sur, Isabela Gov. Grace Padaca, and South Upi Mayor Ramon Piang. They are the ethical, participatory and committed leaders that the nation deserves to have and whom we can trust. But their brand of leadership is only effective if more people are actively engaged in governance.
With the silent majority contented to be in the sidelines and watch the “show” unfold, the leaders act as if they are the law, the sole and absolute dispenser of “justice.” Some constituents complain, but do nothing. Others who consider themselves pragmatic ride on the waves and rationalize it by saying “this is how it has always been done and will always be.” A lot feel helpless, and of course, just give up and do nothing. The clear choice is, unfortunately, perpetuating lousy governance, by default. How unfortunate when we have the power of choice, as Archie Duncanson, author of “Ecology Begins at Home” (http://www.
alternativ.nu/users/ecologybeginsathome/EcologyBeginsAtHome2008.pdf ), would say.
Dissecting the vicious cycle of exploitation that takes place, one cannot help but notice the distinct similarity of the abuse of power by the political leaders, as heaped on the people and, that between intimate partners. Violence-against-women literature tells us that the phases of abuse or violence are the honeymoon stage, tension building, violent episode, asking for forgiveness and then back to honeymoon stage and the never-ending cycle goes on.
In our political life, we also feel a sense of euphoria when we elect our leaders. Then the strains and the realization of their “imperfections,” and of the system, set in. Unexplained scandals proliferate. Some would say “mea culpa” to the country and make promises that remain promises, again and again.
Elections after elections, we see the same faces or those endorsed by the undeserving.
Why is there an imbalance in relationships? Or, the more apt question is, “Why is the disequilibrium allowed by the abused?” Abuses are perpetuated due to economic and cultural factors. Being so dependent on the other party, rocking the boat is not an option. Lifeline is threatened. Fear of an unknown future paralyzes action.
In politics, the patronage system and the instilled dole-out mentality are the reasons why the poor are easily manipulated. It does not make any difference to them who the leaders are – their condition is the same or even worse.
Culture is another factor which prevents taking a more pro-active stance for change. Asians are said to be traditional and non-confrontational. Pressure from family and well-meaning network makes the victim trek the path always taken –which is inaction or paralysis.
Victims of abuse share commonalities: weak sense of self, very low self-esteem, feeling of utter helplessness. Education is not a guarantee of immunity from abuse. Knowing one’s human rights and truly believing in them does help, to a great extent.
One lesson I learned when I was working with women victims of violence – there is never a life of dignity and honor in an imbalanced relationship. A Maori proverb says it all: Never spend time with people who don’t respect you. What makes for a balanced relationship? Respect is the key.
To move forward and have a new lease on life, accepting one’s role in allowing the abuse and the indignity is necessary. Who is at fault then? Alas, finger pointing will not solve the problem.
One key ingredient is missing: action. Action means informed choice and taking steps in the direction one wants to go, subject, of course, to legal limitations. If we want good governance, we should become engaged citizenry, or Mamamayang Pakialamera/Pakialamero (MPs). It is a responsibility that we cannot evade from. It is a duty which we owe to the present and future generations of this planet, if we truly care for them. Of course, we tell ourselves, we do. Do we?
An electrifying citizen action is best exemplified by the American people in making Obama the 44th president of the United States. People began to believe that they, and a credible leader that they trust, can shape and change destiny. “Yes, we can!” must have reverberated in their minds when they cast their ballot on that eventful Nov. 4 presidential election.
How to get out of the comfy comfort zones, or an imbalanced relationship, then? Decades of indifference and indecision can only be changed if we first accept our role in it. Likewise, it is a matter of choice if we want a better life for ourselves, others, and society.
Before we go to bed tonight, let us ask ourselves if we are contented leading “a life of quiet desperation.” Why not embrace the unknown – that of becoming more engaged players in governance? We definitely can do our share. The rewards are greater than all of us – a future that our children and their children truly deserve.
“Yes, we can” – this should be in our minds and hearts each day of our life, and not just on Election Day. Kaya natin ito! There is hope! Enough of apathy and abuse.
Interested to join the Kaya Natin Movement spearheaded by Robredo, Panlilio, Padaca and Piang? Email kayanatin@yahoo.com, for details. Mabuhay!
