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Marcosa Apas, a 38-year-old homemaker from Minglanilla town, Cebu province, wore a scarf to hide her bald head in a forum held at the Waterfront Cebu City Hotel and Casino yesterday.
But she wasn't alone. There were other women who also wore scarves while some had very short hair and others came to the forum in crutches and even a wheelchair.
They came from Manila, Olongapo, Baguio, Bacolod, Bicol, Iloilo, Tacloban, Dumaguete City and Davao City for the “Silver Linings” program, a homecoming for breast cancer survivors.
Apas was one of over 1,000 participants who shared their stories of survival, hope and healing.
Laughter, tears and a strong sense of empathy emerged as participants told of the tough times they endured during treatment and how this has changed them and their families.
Throughout the activity, the survivors voiced their hope of prolonging their lives despite the ravages inflicted on their health by both the cancer and the chemotherapy used to cure the disease.
Apas told that she travelled alone early yesterday morning to learn more about the disease and how to cope with it.
Breaking the mold
She was diagnosed with stage IIA breast cancer April this year and had a mastectomy done to remove her left breast soon after the diagnosis.
“I had my first chemotherapy session last July 7. I already underwent three sessions and my next one will be on Sept. 10,” Apas said in Cebuano.
Apas said she took comfort in the stories of the breast cancer survivors.
She even managed to find a “breast sister” in Bebeng Nosellas, a resident of barangay Laawan, Talisay City diagnosed with stage IIB breast cancer also last April.
A network of family and friends plus a support group helps cancer patients and survivors cope with their illness, Manila-based clinical psychologist Dr. Honey Carandang said in her discussion during the break-out forum “Parenting During Cancer.”
“The family is a system. Stress by one member is felt by the other members,” she said.
“Children, all of us, need an explanation in our mind to give some meaning with what we are going through. This is an essential part of healing from trauma,” she added.
Carandang urged cancer-stricken mothers to break the mold of a Filipina mother who “puts herself last.”
“They (children) would value you more because you value yourself. Empower them, show them they can also contribute something to the family,” she said.
Fighting her fight
Meanwhile resource persons like Dr. Francis Lopez urged the audience to immediately seek treatment.
“Anybody who has had breast cancer can still have another breast cancer. If it (cancer) comes back as a second primary or it appears in the other breast, be aggressive, treat it,” Lopez said during the forum “When Cancer Returns.”
Loss of hair is one of the side effects of chemotherapy which hits the cancer cells and the normal cells found in the hair, skin, the lining of the mouth, the nails and blood cells.
The program also had its share of celebrity advocates who offered their stories of triumph over breast cancer.
Actress Maritoni Fernandez, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2000, became emotional when she told of how she underwent a lumpectomy on her right breast.
She said she was blessed to have obtained cancer treatment and care free of charge in the United States by “claiming it from God.”
“I asked why they choose me. I told them I am not an American. They just told me 'You don't have to pay, just fight your fight,'” she said.
Fernandez said she collected the bills for nine months and totalled them on her last checkup the night before she was admitted to the hospital.
“The bill reached $120,000. That is about P5 million. I did not have that much money,” she added.
’A gift from God’
Still Fernandez said she believes she is blessed by God, adding that “I am His favorite because I am makulit.”
Another participant, Marivic Bugasto from Benguet province, shared her experiences of coping with stage IV breast cancer during the “Stories of Hope” session.
Despite her suffering, Bugasto said she found consolation and meaning in a quote from the animated movie “Kung Fu Panda.”
“Each day is a gift from God. That is why we call it the ‘present,” she said.
For his part Tito Solomon, husband of cancer survivor Me'Anne Alcordo-Solomon asked other fellow husbands to stand up and be acknowledged.
Tito Solomon is the Cebu coordinator of I Can Serve, a cancer survivor support group which is one of the event organizers.
Something good
Many stood up, including Dr. Bobbit Suntay of Manila, whose wife Jackie died of ovarian cancer in 2005.
Suntay said it was difficult to organize a support group for men since “they don't do support groups.”
“It would have been easier to call them together to have beer and sisig, which we eventually did,” he said.
Suntay said even the most macho men need help whenever a loved one is afflicted with cancer, even if they don't admit it.
A wistful Suntay said there were times after his wife's death that he wished things would go back to the way they were.
“But you know that won't happen. We have to understand that in some way there is something the Lord has for us in this. Something good will come out of this,” he said.
