Quantcast
Latest Stories

Outtakes

English dictionary to add Pinoy pork barrel-inspired words

By

LONDON—Every year the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) adds new words based on evidence of their popular usage.

Sir Alexie Conn, a spokesperson for OED in London, told Outtakes/INQUIRER.net that new words from the Philippines are seriously being considered for inclusion.

Here are just some of the words that reportedly could end up in the OED, to join such illustrious company as selfie, twerk, boink.

Pdafhile—a lawmaker who lusts after fresh Department of Budget Management disbursements from his/her pork barrel allotment

stypend—a pdafhile’s dirty, secret commission from pork funds approved for a fake project or NGO; syn., kickback, pork diem

porquisites—advantages of political office enjoyed by a sitting pdafhile

napolestation—abuse of taxpayers’ money by pdafhiles and well-connected scammers known as janetors or swinedlers

 

janetor—one who takes taxpayers to the cleaners or cleans out government coffers, often with lapidity; adj., janetorial

lapidity—the speed of acting without cause, e,g., purchasing with pork funds “antidengue innoculants” for Polillo, Quezon, when no cases of dengue fever were reported there

bulokracy—rotten government channels that enable napolestation due to absence of transparency or sunshine law

 

kuyanymous—adj., being hidden behind the respectable alias of “kuya” used by senator whose ex-president father is now a mayor; see also, pogilistic

estradition—natural transfer from father to son of estradavirus that triggers kuyanymous, eraptive and same-o same-o practices; facilitated by a social secretary who contacts swinedlers

tandacy—the tendency of an elderly former Senate president to ponceficate

ponceficate—to maintain silence and posture of indifference as incriminating gigibytes of pdafhilic evidence mount

gigibyte—volume of cash delivered to a tandacious senator’s former chief of staff by a janetor’s driver.

enrilated—the supposed nature of the relationship between a gigibyte and a tandacy.

revillation—the embarrassing exposure of a photo of a pogilistic pdafhile partying with a janetor, after he had publicly denied knowing her

ferdinantadj., description of a pdafhile’s adamant claim that his dead dictator father was the best thing that ever happened to the country; also means “like father like son”

honascence—the professed state of not ever knowing the janetor-wife of one’s close army buddy and former co-coup plotter

monsignority—priority given a Catholic priest to “rent” the Forbes Park home of a janetor

oinkling—a hunch that a congressman or senator is a guilty of pdafhilia

qui tam onalat., legal term for the vindication of public’s oinkling that a legislator is pdafhilic

sumbongdinates­­—a janetor’s former employees who are now “telling all” about their boss and her legislative partners

turoancy—enforced absence of finger-pointing sumbongdinates who are kept in safe houses for their own protection

santiagonize—to displease a lawmaker, whose blood pressure keeps shooting up at the smell of pork and makes her go kamikaze

foifect—adj.; description of much needed FOI (freedom of information) transparency law as an antidote to pdafhilia and bulokracy

delimanate—to prosecute pdafhiles and janetors without mercy

ombudextrous—adj., quality of delimanation; see also carpomoralescent

 

carpo diem—lat.; motto meaning “seize the bastards” (and their stypends)

However, I’ve been warned that while these words are excellent candidates for inclusion in the Oxford English Dictionary, they may fail to make it due to future lack of use, depriving us of the honor.

Sir Alexie Conn explained: “IF, with the help of turoant sumbongdinates, an ombudextrous delimanation of pdafhilia is carried out, successfully carpo dieming pdafhiles, janetors and swinedlers thereby preventing further napolestation, then the prospective additions would no longer be included for lack of use.”

Well, in that case, I’m pretty sure Filipinos would much prefer to be at a loss for words.


Follow Us


Follow us on Facebook Follow on Twitter Follow on Twitter


More from this Blog:

Recent Stories:

Complete stories on our Digital Edition newsstand for tablets, netbooks and mobile phones; 14-issue free trial. About to step out? Get breaking alerts on your mobile.phone. Text ON INQ BREAKING to 4467, for Globe, Smart and Sun subscribers in the Philippines.

Tags: Filipino , Janet Lim-Napoles , Language , OED , Oxford English Dictionary , Pork Barrel , pork barrel scam , Sir Alexie Conn



Copyright © 2014, .
To subscribe to the Philippine Daily Inquirer newspaper in the Philippines, call +63 2 896-6000 for Metro Manila and Metro Cebu or email your subscription request here.
Factual errors? Contact the Philippine Daily Inquirer's day desk. Believe this article violates journalistic ethics? Contact the Inquirer's Reader's Advocate. Or write The Readers' Advocate:
c/o Philippine Daily Inquirer Chino Roces Avenue corner Yague and Mascardo Streets, Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines Or fax nos. +63 2 8974793 to 94
Advertisement
Advertisement

News

  • Obama launches measures to support solar energy in US
  • Nebraska toddler gets stuck inside claw machine
  • Philippine eagle rescued by Army turned over to DENR
  • Gunmen attack Iraq military base, kill 10 soldiers
  • South Korea president shouted down by distraught parents
  • Sports

  • Vietnam says it will not host Asian Games
  • Nadal passes clay landmark with 300th victory
  • Wawrinka waltzes through with Monte Carlo walkover
  • Power Pinays smash India in Asian Women’s Club volleyball opener
  • PH youth boxers off to stumbling start in AIBA World tilt
  • Lifestyle

  • Pro visual artists, lensmen to judge Pagcor’s photo contest
  • ‘Labahita a la bacalao’
  • This is not just a farm
  • Clams and garlic, softshell crab risotto–not your usual seafood fare for Holy Week
  • Moist, extra-tender blueberry muffins
  • Entertainment

  • Cannes film festival launches race for 2014 Palme d’Or
  • Jones, Godard, Cronenberg in competition at Cannes
  • Will Arnett files for divorce from Amy Poehler
  • American rapper cuts own penis, jumps off building
  • Jay Z to bring Made in America music fest to LA
  • Business

  • Total says makes ‘very promising’ oil find off Ivory Coast
  • ‘Chinese Twitter’ firm Weibo to go public in US
  • World stocks subdued, Nikkei flat on profit taking
  • Asia stocks fail to match Wall Street gains
  • Fired Yahoo exec gets $58M for 15 months of work
  • Technology

  • Netizens seethe over Aquino’s ‘sacrifice’ message
  • Filipinos #PrayForSouthKorea
  • Taylor Swift tries video blogging, crashes into fan’s bridal shower
  • DOF: Tagaytay, QC best at handling funds
  • Smart phone apps and sites perfect for the Holy Week
  • Opinion

  • Editorial cartoon, April 17, 2014
  • A humbler Church
  • Deepest darkness
  • ‘Agnihotra’ for Earth’s health
  • It’s the Holy Week, time to think of others
  • Global Nation

  • Malaysia quarantines 64 villagers over MERS virus
  • DFA: 2 Filipinos survive Korean ferry disaster
  • PH asks airline passengers to check for MERS
  • Syria most dangerous country for journalists, PH 3rd—watchdog
  • Japan says visa-free entry still a plan
  • Marketplace