Latest Stories


To all, a Merry Apocalypse


So NASA released a video entitled “Why the World Didn’t End Yesterday.” But if NASA is so confident, why did it release the film 10 days ahead of December 21, 2012? Deep down, even NASA isn’t so sure. It’s the same reason why not a single business establishment is giving away Mayan calendars for Christmas. Really, it’s time we discussed end-of-life issues.

Since time immemorial, people have always been interested in the end of the world as they know it. As far as has been scientifically proved, we’re the only species that is obsessed with death; all the others just try to avoid it without building fantastical paradigms of a life after this one.

But we love thinking about the end of the world because—admit it–it’s oddly comforting. Individually, we’re always wary of the Grim Reaper snatching us away from the rest of the living. But if we’re all going to die in one big cataclysm, well, that somehow seems okay. We’d be in it together.

It’s comforting that signs of impending doom are already everywhere, and I’m not talking about rising tides, mega-storms, tsunamis and earthquakes, which are natural phenomena. I’m talking about a series of extraordinary man-made events in which the mighty have begun to fall.

Philippine Congress passed the Reproductive Health bill despite some Catholic bishops’ prediction that we’d be deluged by an orgy of sins.  Well, sorry dear bishops, but an even more abject defeat for your influence awaits you.

When the world ends on December 21, the Vatican will eat humble pie. All these years we’ve been feverishly confessing our sins and asking for absolution when we should’ve been offering human sacrifices instead. Talk about choosing the wrong religion.

Which, by the way, is why Juan Manuel Marquez, most likely a Maya descendant, was able to KO Manny Pacquiao. Manny not only chose the wrong religion, but he also switched to another brand of the same. We have it on Mommy Dionisia’s authority.

That right hand punch that gave Manny a good night’s sleep also walloped our collective illusion that his feats were a national, not an individual, achievement and that boxing is the Filipino’s greatest contribution to human progress. It felt good while it lasted. But it’s as if asteroid 4179 Toutatis, which buzzed Earth from just seven million kilometers away, abruptly changed course and gave our national pride an uppercut.

But we’re not the only people who are seeing signs of the end. The European Union is on the verge of falling apart. The Middle East, site of the Garden of Eden and various biblical shenanigans of old is in flames. China is picking a fight with everyone not its own size. Starving North Korea has just launched an ICBM for world peace. Gangnam style is everywhere.

And for ultra-conservative Republicans in the U.S. of A.–I’m consoled that Filipino Americans who registered GOP are among them–doomsday already began last November 6, and it’s going to be one big scary end, the worst nightmare they could ever imagine.

First, if you remember, America brought black slaves to pick cotton. Then it brought in Latinos to pick fruit. Well, now these lowly folks are picking U.S. presidents. Horrors! And by 2043 minorities will be the majority in America—that is if we’re still around.

Unfortunately, while we huddle in solidarity as we await our common end, there are some people who will refuse to join us. Some antisocial, ruggedly individualistic, libertarian Ayn Ran fanatics will always just look out for themselves.

If you’re one of those selfish people, I have something that can help you live beyond December 21, 2012. I’m raffling tickets for seats in a UFO that will land in the Pic de Bugarach mountain in the French Pyrenees 0n December 21 and take a few lucky humans with them (1,000 pesos/raffle ticket; air fare to France not included). It will also enhance your penis size.

Follow Us

Follow us on Facebook Follow on Twitter Follow on Twitter

More from this Blog:

Recent Stories:

Complete stories on our Digital Edition newsstand for tablets, netbooks and mobile phones; 14-issue free trial. About to step out? Get breaking alerts on your mobile.phone. Text ON INQ BREAKING to 4467, for Globe, Smart and Sun subscribers in the Philippines.

Tags: end of the world , Features , Mayan calendar , Space

  • spitfire

    For the benefit of all, top scientists around the globe gathered together to find proof as well as cause and effect of a Polar Shift. They are publishing their findings in a 6 part video in their website. Type horizonprojectdotcom in your browser and then watch and listen to the video no matter how skeptic you are so that you will not die wondering why.

  • WeAry_Bat

    Get rich with the end of the world, sell DVDs explaining the why.  Perpetual profits, there will always be a customer before and after the end.

  • http://www.facebook.com/akohitoh Rey G. Domingo

    BS! What kind of reasoning. Of course, NASA was so confident of itself. If that will be published on 22 December, it will be after the fact!

  • Sweet Disguised

    i don’t know about you guys… but i’m really getting stressed out. 

Copyright © 2014, .
To subscribe to the Philippine Daily Inquirer newspaper in the Philippines, call +63 2 896-6000 for Metro Manila and Metro Cebu or email your subscription request here.
Factual errors? Contact the Philippine Daily Inquirer's day desk. Believe this article violates journalistic ethics? Contact the Inquirer's Reader's Advocate. Or write The Readers' Advocate:
c/o Philippine Daily Inquirer Chino Roces Avenue corner Yague and Mascardo Streets, Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines Or fax nos. +63 2 8974793 to 94
  1. Filipina, 51, shot dead by 24-year-old American boyfriend
  2. 19 Ukrainians, Russians, Filipinas rescued in bar raid
  3. Hong Kong accepts PH apology; sanctions also lifted
  4. China and rivals sign naval pact to ease maritime tensions
  5. Believe it or not: Filipinos love US more than Yanks
  6. PH, HK end bitter row; sanctions lifted
  7. PH seeks ‘clearer assurance’ from US
  8. Obama arrives in Tokyo, first stop of 4-nation tour
  9. Palace thanks Estrada for successful HK mission
  10. US Secret Service in Manila ahead of Obama visit
  1. Filipina, 51, shot dead by 24-year-old American boyfriend
  2. Japan presents $57-B ‘dream plan’ to solve Metro congestion
  3. Hong Kong accepts PH apology; sanctions also lifted
  4. Japan says visa-free entry still a plan
  5. 85% of Filipinos love US – survey
  6. 10 US presidents who visited the PH (and what they said)
  7. WHO warns vs spread of MERS-Cov, urges vigilance in taking precautions
  8. 19 Ukrainians, Russians, Filipinas rescued in bar raid
  9. 150 Filipino teachers in Maryland to lose jobs, visas
  10. Japan mulls no visa rule for Filipinos
  1. US to China: We will protect Philippines
  2. Japan mulls no visa rule for Filipinos
  3. DFA grants visa-free privilege to 7 countries
  4. China warned: Don’t try to tow away BRP Sierra Madre
  5. Back home in Manila, and feeling out of place
  6. Filipina, 51, shot dead by 24-year-old American boyfriend
  7. Japan presents $57-B ‘dream plan’ to solve Metro congestion
  8. China: PH tarnishing Beijing’s international image
  9. What’s inside BRP Sierra Madre?
  10. Hong Kong accepts PH apology; sanctions also lifted


  • Ukraine FM: We are ready to fight Russia
  • Slain officer’s ‘diagram’ rocks PNP
  • 2 contractors fined P25,000 for delays in Edsa rehab
  • Luisita beneficiaries take over renters
  • 5 years of hard work pay off for top UP grad
  • Sports

  • Sharapova advances to Stuttgart quarterfinals
  • Galedo caps ride of redemption
  • Beermen, Express dispute second semis slot today
  • Lady Agilas upset Lady Bulldogs in four sets
  • NLEX roars to 7th D-League win
  • Lifestyle

  • Want to be a supermodel? Work on your inner beauty, says Joey Espino
  • Denims that keep you cool–literally
  • 10 essential summer skin savers
  • Here’s your visual guide to all things cool, hot in summer fashion
  • The fundamentals of accessorizing
  • Entertainment

  • Kristoffer Martin: from thug to gay teen
  • Has Ai Ai fallen deeply with ‘sireno?’
  • California court won’t review Jackson doctor case
  • Cris Villonco on play adapted from different medium
  • OMB exec’s assurance: We work 24/7
  • Business

  • Gaming stocks gain, PSEi eases on profit-taking
  • Cebu Pacific flew 3.74M passengers as of March
  • Corporate bonds sweeteners
  • Professionals in the family business
  • Foreign funds flowed out in Q1, says BSP
  • Technology

  • Vatican announces hashtag for April 27 canonizations
  • Enrile in Masters of the Universe, Lord of the Rings?
  • Top Traits of Digital Marketers
  • No truth to viral no-visa ‘chronicles’
  • ‘Unlimited’ Internet promos not really limitless; lawmakers call for probe
  • Opinion

  • Editorial Cartoon, April 25, 2014
  • No deal, Janet
  • Like making Al Capone a witness vs his gang
  • MERS-CoV and mothers
  • A graduation story
  • Global Nation

  • Afghan hospital guard kills 3 American doctors
  • Career diplomat is new PH consul general in Los Angeles
  • US4GG: Aquino should ask Obama for TPS approval, drone technology
  • Complex health care system for California’s elderly and poor explained
  • Tiff with HK over Luneta hostage fiasco finally over
  • Marketplace