‘I do,’ ‘I do,’ ‘I do,’ at Filipino mass wedding in San Francisco
This year’s Operation I Do mass wedding at St. Thomas More Church in San Francisco. PHOTOS BY JOE ESPINUEVA
SAN FRANCISCO — As the recent decision of the U.S. Supreme Court of the United States legalizing same-sex marriage started sinking in, heterosexual Catholic couples, most of them Filipinos, were exchanging vows in the annual mass wedding at the St. Thomas More Church here.
Some 15 couples took part in “Operation: I Do,” a project that gives even live-in couples the chance to be accorded the Sacrament of Marriage.
The couples’ ages ranged widely this year, with three of them past 65 years old with the rest in their 50s, 40s and 30s. Most of them are from the San Francisco Bay Area and a couple came from the Los Angeles area.
The oldest three couples are retired, while the others are nurses, physical therapists, in other medical related jobs or in auto mechanics, sales, computer field, and hotels. Most of them have two to three children each on average.
The main causes for their non or late marriage were financial. Busy schedules and lifestyles also deterred some from gathering the necessary documents required by the Catholic Church.
“Couples would not like to be bothered looking for their documents especially if they no longer have any relative/s in their birthplace. In view of this, couples would argue that since God is loving and forgiving, their civil marriage is good enough especially if their relationship is going smooth,” explained Joe Espinueva, Operation I Do’s main organizer.
Sacramental
“In the church’s view, and in my own personal view, Church wedding was, is, and will always be the Sacramental wedding in the eyes of God if and only if they are married in the church. The problem in this generation is that some Catholics wanted to tailor-make their own religious beliefs according to their own personal lifestyle and choice,” Espinueva explained.
Dinner and dancing followed the weddings.
He restated that, just like in the past, he and his volunteers personally call the churches where couples claim to have been baptized and ask for baptismal certificates on their behalf, at their own expense.
Espinueva and his volunteers often meet a number of challenges. The secretary or whoever is in charge of church records may not be available, or worse, the Googled phone number of a church may not have been updated. It doesn’t help too that most churches in the Philippines don’t have an email address, and if they do they don’t answer back.
“The Operation I Do team is made up of sincere, energetic, so sacrificing and flexible volunteers to cater to whatever the needs of the couples. In our sincere intention of seeing couples receive the Sacrament of Matrimony in the Catholic Church, we practically offered ourselves and go out of our normal way in order to accomplish this mission. We purchase calling cards with our own money to call to get copies of baptismal, civil marriage and/or previous and dissolved marriage certificates. This is all because of love for our brothers and sisters,” Espinueva disclosed.
Dismay at same-sex marriage
As for his reaction on the Supreme Court ruling, Espinueva was dismayed when it was officially announced.
“What the Supreme Court did was they eliminated the only Civil Institution that unites children from their mom and dad and that is the Traditional Marriage. Marriage was created by God and no one can redefine it except him. It is in defiance of the natural law as traditional marriage teaches a child has the fundamental right to be born from a mother and a father. It answers the questions who am I and gives identity to children through their physical appearance,” Espinueva contended.
“The new meaning of Marriage as a mere union of two people deprived the children of having a mom and dad. Everybody has moms and dads, but not two moms or two dads. God instituted marriage and created man and a woman for the purpose of procreation. This is not a question of who or what we are against. But rather, it’s what we are for,” he argued further.
Espinueva also hoped he would never see a time when Operation I Do or any Catholic church would consider marrying same sex couples as marriage. “If we Catholics claim we follow Christ’s teachings, its only either yes or no. There is no middle ground. As the Pope says, all of these attacks on natural laws is a move of the father of lies who seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God,” Espinueva reiterated.
Most cooperative couples
This year’s 15 couples may be the smallest group since the project started in 2011, but they are regarded as being some of the most cooperative of couples, with more intense and deeper spiritual attitudes.
“With less number of couple participants, a more solemn and personalized Sacramental wedding was had. The couples loved and enjoyed the solemnity of the occasion and the audience made the same comment. I think what we have achieved is we were able to offer these couples the true meaning of Sacramental marriage between a man and a woman,” Espinueva added.
It was estimated that this year’s reception guests numbered close to 350 people who were treated dining, dancing and excellent entertainment numbers.
Love waited at a Hayward bus stop for Marcela Batimana and Rupi Arcelo.
Rupi Arcelo, 72, of San Jose del Monte Bulacan but originally from Cebu, and Marcela Batimana, 58, were the oldest of the marrying couples. Their previous spouses had passed on and, in a stroke of luck, had their paths crossed in 2011 in a Hayward bus stop near the retail store where Marcela was working.
Second time around
Rupi, who from the moment he laid eyes on Marcela, confessed that he intentionally waited for her at the bus stop just when she ended her work shift, and became her regular companion.
Asked on how she felt when she noticed she that Rupi was becoming a regular bus buddy, Marcela, who had a son and a daughter from previous marriage, acknowledged in giggles, “Of course, I was very happy deep inside me, but I was careful enough not to show it early ha ha ha. Of course, Filipinas would play pakipot at first.”
Rupi, who had a son (deceased) and has one daughter (with four children of her own) proved to be very patient. In 2013 their friendship blossomed into a more serious relationship. Their children were only too happy for their parents.
“I never courted her in the strictest sense of the word, but we became close and were constantly seeing each other, and the day did not end without a nightcap conversation on the phone,” said Rupi, who was a teacher for 20 years in Hayward and worked with the Department of Justice in the Philippines for 30 years.
Rupi did not have to chop wood and fetch water to show his love for Marcela just as how they do it in Bulacan. Neither did he resort to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram as the young now do, but they were able to mutually understand each other just the same and became more than friends.
And when they heard of Operation: I Do, they decided to get married mainly because they both believe that getting married is the right way to give the younger couples an example to follow.
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